While out with a friend, getting extremely drunk indeed, I got chatted up by two men. The first was a former Big Brother contestant, who was quite hot indeed. Until I discovered that he was a former Big Brother contestant. This guy had been eyeing me up for some time and, on a quiet credit-crunched Wednesday, was the only decent pickings to be had in the bar. Suddenly he's sitting next to me and chatting me up. Hurrah!
But I KNOW I've seen this guy before, and he's acting slightly sheepishly, as though he knows that I know that I've seen him somewhere before.
Finally it hits me like a lorry.
"Were you on some kind of reality TV show?" I ask?
"Yeah I thought you already knew that," replies the guy.
"No I've been trying to place you but couldn't quite work it out."
"But now you know."
"No I don't, which one was it?"
"Big Brother, two years ago."
"Oh right of course! Sorry I don't watch Big Brother, but I did have to write about you, once," I say, before blurting out what I do for a living, something I would not have done if I'd not had 3 lethal cocktails beforehand.
We chat some more, and then he goes to the boys' room. My friends immediately pounce on me, wondering where things are headed between me and the guy.
I explain to them that he is a reality TV casualty and that this has rather put me off him. Unfortunately two of my friends have been engaging in their boring, futile, socially anemic, relentless habit of hoovering up coke in the toilets, and when the guy returns from the same place they scream "YOU WERE IN BIG BROTHER!!!!!!" loudly and in unison. The guy runs away as fast as he can.
Which is a blessing and a shame, really, because on one hand I would have liked to speak to this guy more to gain insight into what it's like to find yourself on the showbiz scrapheap. But it's a blessing because I find starfucking quite a lonely, pathetic pastime, and I would have felt like a starfucker even if the person in question is by no means a star.
If I had never brought the subject around to his TV history, and just carried on chatting him up, who knows?
Friday, 19 September 2008
Monday, 8 September 2008
Are you a Gay-lin?
I've been gripped by the US presidential elections for over a year now. I suppose if I lived in the US, I would be an independent voter, with strong leanings towards the Democrats. Over here in the UK pretty much everyone wants Barack Obama to win, and I do as well, but I've always thought Hillary Clinton would've been a better pick for the nomination, because she's experienced, because she knows how to effect change, and, I must admit, because she is a woman.
YES, there is something weirdly feminist about me which makes me want a woman to run the world. Sometimes I think it's all because of my mother, sometimes I think it's because of Thatcher. The two women are eerily similar. My mother was the best 80s mum ever, because while my friends' mothers tended to pick their children up from school, cook their lunch and be, generally, motherly, mine was out at work wearing power suits and being generally very 80s. Now of course if you read other pages of this blog you might think that I might have been better off with a mumsy mum, and to be honest, I think like my mum I tend to define myself in how
I'm distinct from other people, rather than defining myself based on other people's views of me. Big difference. Never mind.
So suddenly this Palin woman shows up on the campaign trail and, I admit, for a moment I was transfixed. It's because she's pretty and fiesty, of course, like my Mum. I would like my Mum to rule the world, and if Hillary Clinton can't, then Sarah Palin will do as a shoe-in. Right? Of course not.
Sarah Palin would be a disaster because John McCain would be a disaster. John McCain would do more of the tax cutting, laissez faire nonsense that has landed America and the rest of the West in this financial hell-hole. But I wonder how many people will now switch their votes away from poor Barack now there's a woman on the ticket? And I wonder how many other gay men who grew up with strong, domineering mothers might feel the same way! I'm certainly not adverse to the notion that people could be that stupid, and after briefly being mesmerised, I'm now extremely troubled.
YES, there is something weirdly feminist about me which makes me want a woman to run the world. Sometimes I think it's all because of my mother, sometimes I think it's because of Thatcher. The two women are eerily similar. My mother was the best 80s mum ever, because while my friends' mothers tended to pick their children up from school, cook their lunch and be, generally, motherly, mine was out at work wearing power suits and being generally very 80s. Now of course if you read other pages of this blog you might think that I might have been better off with a mumsy mum, and to be honest, I think like my mum I tend to define myself in how
I'm distinct from other people, rather than defining myself based on other people's views of me. Big difference. Never mind.So suddenly this Palin woman shows up on the campaign trail and, I admit, for a moment I was transfixed. It's because she's pretty and fiesty, of course, like my Mum. I would like my Mum to rule the world, and if Hillary Clinton can't, then Sarah Palin will do as a shoe-in. Right? Of course not.
Sarah Palin would be a disaster because John McCain would be a disaster. John McCain would do more of the tax cutting, laissez faire nonsense that has landed America and the rest of the West in this financial hell-hole. But I wonder how many people will now switch their votes away from poor Barack now there's a woman on the ticket? And I wonder how many other gay men who grew up with strong, domineering mothers might feel the same way! I'm certainly not adverse to the notion that people could be that stupid, and after briefly being mesmerised, I'm now extremely troubled.
Saturday, 6 September 2008
Clot or not?
I'm not sure what's happened in the past 2 weeks with this guy I've been dating. I think I may have been very silly today but I can't be sure. Basically I started dating this guy called Gavin about 3 weeks ago. It was a blind date organised through a friend. We met on the South Bank at a lovely bar I hadn't been to before. We spent all day together (well about 7 hours) and it went really well. We said goodbye at London Bridge tube station and, a bit drunk, I popped a snog on him. He was visibly a bit taken aback by this but didn't seem to mind. Later that evening I got a text from him saying how much he'd enjoyed the day and the kiss.
The second date happened last week. We went to a few bars, were getting on well, and then we went for dinner and got on even better. This time I jumped in a cab at Goodge Street and just before, we had a very long, nice, lingering kiss which was really good.
Then this week we hit slightly rocky ground because we were both busy all week. But we managed to sort something out for last night. It was pouring with rain in London last night and we met during an intense shower at Oxford Circus. Gavin is ill with a cold and is not on good form. We go for a meal and the conversation is hard going.
The moment our plates are cleared away, Gavin is reaching for his coat. Our beers are only half-drunk. I am detecting extremely bad vibes.
We walk back to Oxford Circus and then Gavin says he's going to walk to Tottenham Court Road to get the Northern Line. He tells me that he doesn't want to kiss me because he is full of cold, and says he hopes I'm not offended. I tell him I try not to be. But inside I am feeling that this is the cold shoulder in murderous action.
This morning I woke up and went for a long run to try to clear my head. When I get back to the flat I send Gavin a text which reads:
"Hi it's Adam, I got the feeling you'd cooled off last night. It's fine. Was interesting to meet you and fun. Good luck with it all, Adam."
This text is not replied to. This afternoon I chat with friends about what I've done and am roundly scolded by my mates for jumping the gun. The thing is, I am so fearful of getting a dumping text that I suppose I decided to sieze control of the situation and pre-empt such a text. But many of my friends tell me that I have shot myself in the foot, and that I should have waited to see if Gavin became more amenible once his cold had gone away.
Too late now, of course. I wonder whether this is some kind of subconcious masochism on my part, to shut-down any relationship potential because secretly I like living in a state of hermitage?
The second date happened last week. We went to a few bars, were getting on well, and then we went for dinner and got on even better. This time I jumped in a cab at Goodge Street and just before, we had a very long, nice, lingering kiss which was really good.
Then this week we hit slightly rocky ground because we were both busy all week. But we managed to sort something out for last night. It was pouring with rain in London last night and we met during an intense shower at Oxford Circus. Gavin is ill with a cold and is not on good form. We go for a meal and the conversation is hard going.
The moment our plates are cleared away, Gavin is reaching for his coat. Our beers are only half-drunk. I am detecting extremely bad vibes.
We walk back to Oxford Circus and then Gavin says he's going to walk to Tottenham Court Road to get the Northern Line. He tells me that he doesn't want to kiss me because he is full of cold, and says he hopes I'm not offended. I tell him I try not to be. But inside I am feeling that this is the cold shoulder in murderous action.
This morning I woke up and went for a long run to try to clear my head. When I get back to the flat I send Gavin a text which reads:
"Hi it's Adam, I got the feeling you'd cooled off last night. It's fine. Was interesting to meet you and fun. Good luck with it all, Adam."
This text is not replied to. This afternoon I chat with friends about what I've done and am roundly scolded by my mates for jumping the gun. The thing is, I am so fearful of getting a dumping text that I suppose I decided to sieze control of the situation and pre-empt such a text. But many of my friends tell me that I have shot myself in the foot, and that I should have waited to see if Gavin became more amenible once his cold had gone away.
Too late now, of course. I wonder whether this is some kind of subconcious masochism on my part, to shut-down any relationship potential because secretly I like living in a state of hermitage?
Saturday, 23 August 2008
Hate crime
This week at least 3 of my friends have made comments about Jade Goody getting cervical cancer along the lines of:
"Thank God, hopefully this will kill her off so we don't have to put up with her constantly being on the telly anymore"
I'm paraphrasing and editorialising of course. But I must say, I'm tempted to stop being friends with these three people.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of Jade Goody at all. When the Jade Goody phenonemon broke in the early 00s, I was one of those snobbish types who bemoaned how easy it was for no marks like her to become famous. It seemed a symptom of our hellish celebrity culture that people with no brains or talent could become millionaires by giving lurid interviews to trashy magazines.
But to me, Jade Goody more than earned her right to be in the public eye when she was caught up in the race row that engulfed Celebrity Big Brother last year, because she forced us to look ourselves in the eye and ask ourselves how racist we all were. Millions of people voted Shilpa Shetty the winner of that contest, presumably because as a nation we were desperate to collectively say that we weren't racist. But of course lots of people in Britain are racist, and continue to be. Of the 23 people teenagers who've been violently killed in London so far this year, at least a handful of those deaths had some form of racial element to them.
But nobody, NOBODY deserves to get a nasty cancer like that of the cervix at such a young age. Two of my female friends have had scares involving this cancer in the past 5 years or so. Fortunately one of them turned out to be the victim of a false alarm, and the other had the rogue cells zapped just in time. Anyone who knows anyone who's had this kind of experience would never wish similar events to happen to someone else, regardless of who they are.
People who are vociferously happy at Jade's diagnosis are probably acting out an extension of the public voting for Shilpa Shetty. They're saying "I hate racists so much that I'm delighted one of the racists has a serious and life-threatening disease".
They're failing to grasp the obvious -- that Jade Goody is emblematic of a sizeable proportion of the population who aren't very clever, who hit out against that which they don't understand, and who speak a long time before they think. Jade Goody's racist comments became international news because she made them on live television.
But comments like hers are uttered by thousands of people in Britain every single day. Being racist is wrong. But wishing death on someone just because they've conveyed their ignorance about race to a primetime TV audience is no better.
"Thank God, hopefully this will kill her off so we don't have to put up with her constantly being on the telly anymore"
I'm paraphrasing and editorialising of course. But I must say, I'm tempted to stop being friends with these three people.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of Jade Goody at all. When the Jade Goody phenonemon broke in the early 00s, I was one of those snobbish types who bemoaned how easy it was for no marks like her to become famous. It seemed a symptom of our hellish celebrity culture that people with no brains or talent could become millionaires by giving lurid interviews to trashy magazines.
But to me, Jade Goody more than earned her right to be in the public eye when she was caught up in the race row that engulfed Celebrity Big Brother last year, because she forced us to look ourselves in the eye and ask ourselves how racist we all were. Millions of people voted Shilpa Shetty the winner of that contest, presumably because as a nation we were desperate to collectively say that we weren't racist. But of course lots of people in Britain are racist, and continue to be. Of the 23 people teenagers who've been violently killed in London so far this year, at least a handful of those deaths had some form of racial element to them.
But nobody, NOBODY deserves to get a nasty cancer like that of the cervix at such a young age. Two of my female friends have had scares involving this cancer in the past 5 years or so. Fortunately one of them turned out to be the victim of a false alarm, and the other had the rogue cells zapped just in time. Anyone who knows anyone who's had this kind of experience would never wish similar events to happen to someone else, regardless of who they are.
People who are vociferously happy at Jade's diagnosis are probably acting out an extension of the public voting for Shilpa Shetty. They're saying "I hate racists so much that I'm delighted one of the racists has a serious and life-threatening disease".
They're failing to grasp the obvious -- that Jade Goody is emblematic of a sizeable proportion of the population who aren't very clever, who hit out against that which they don't understand, and who speak a long time before they think. Jade Goody's racist comments became international news because she made them on live television.
But comments like hers are uttered by thousands of people in Britain every single day. Being racist is wrong. But wishing death on someone just because they've conveyed their ignorance about race to a primetime TV audience is no better.
Friday, 22 August 2008
Debt update
I reluctantly agreed to put Adsense on here. I read online that lots of people hate it, but since putting it on, I've already earned, wait for it.... 56 American cents!!!
On a slightly more productive note, I've today transferred £1500 of debt from their high rates of between 16 and 18%, to 0% credit cards. This will save me about £400 a year, assuming I don't pay the debt off.
Of course, I WILL pay it off!!!
PLEASE DONATE A DOLLAR OR A BRITISH POUND if you like the blog!
On a slightly more productive note, I've today transferred £1500 of debt from their high rates of between 16 and 18%, to 0% credit cards. This will save me about £400 a year, assuming I don't pay the debt off.
Of course, I WILL pay it off!!!
PLEASE DONATE A DOLLAR OR A BRITISH POUND if you like the blog!
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Debt Update
I owed £27068.
I just paid off £1439 from my monthly wages.
New debt £25629, and I hope to reduce that by another £200 if I can keep my overdraft in check this month.
If you could donate £1 or $1, or whatever currency you like - it would help a bit!
Please donate by pushing the button just to the right
Love A x
I just paid off £1439 from my monthly wages.
New debt £25629, and I hope to reduce that by another £200 if I can keep my overdraft in check this month.
If you could donate £1 or $1, or whatever currency you like - it would help a bit!
Please donate by pushing the button just to the right
Love A x
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Debt Mountain
I woke up yesterday and realised that I was appalingly in debt. How did I get into this mess? First of all I was in debt from college to the tune of £4,000. I had to start servicing this debt straight away, but I still wanted to live!
"Youth is wasted on the young" is an old adage, of course, and I was determined not to spend my twenties being poor, not travelling the world etc.
Unfortunately I was never very good with money. I always assumed that my earnings would rise in line with the debt I was taking out. Then of course I got broken into twice this year, and had to replace my macbook, ipod, mobile, lots of other stuff.
Anyway yesterday I added up the totals of my debt and discovered they stand at:
"Youth is wasted on the young" is an old adage, of course, and I was determined not to spend my twenties being poor, not travelling the world etc.
Unfortunately I was never very good with money. I always assumed that my earnings would rise in line with the debt I was taking out. Then of course I got broken into twice this year, and had to replace my macbook, ipod, mobile, lots of other stuff.
Anyway yesterday I added up the totals of my debt and discovered they stand at:
Type of debt: ..........Balance on it: ..............APR:
Overdraft ............... £1500 .......................18 %
Halifax Visa .............£1987....................... 16%
Capital One .............£1452 ......................17 %
HSBC Loan .............£11900 .......................7.2 %
AA Loan.................. £2041 ..........................7.5%
Student Loan.......... £1188 .........................2.4%
Egg Visa ..................£7000 ..................0% til July ‘09
Anyway this was quite a shock to discover that I owe nearly thirty thousand pounds! First thing I'm doing is getting the Halifax and Capital one credit cards transferred over to a new card at 0% for 12 months. Then I decided to take lots of extra work - I can earn another £800 a month doing that. But even so, if I'm to shift this debt, I would have to have two years of solid no-fun and constant work. Oh if only someone would just give me a column!
But then it occurred to me that my blog gets lots of hits, so I thought I would ask you all to donate £1. Since I'm getting about 200 unique users a week, in theory if everyone donated a pound, I would be out of debt in 30 months. Why should I rely on some magazine proprietor to earn money from my writing??
So if you have enjoyed my blog, please donate £1 using the button on the right.
I'll provide a tally of the donations and thanks and links accordingly!
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